Masking the Pain
by FancyToaster
Summary: She wants to stop pretending, stop crying, stop cutting. But she can't do that until Sasuke comes back. [Cutting Involved - Sakura centric]


**Hi! I've been here for nearly a year and this is my first Naruto Fanfic, I feel so ashamed I haven't written this sooner. Sakura centric**

(She'd smile even though she's not happy.)

Sakura walked through the streets, looking just as lively as the streets. Her bright green eyes radiating happiness to everyone who caught a glimpse of them. Her bubblegum pink hair reflected light to all the people who noticed it when she strolled through town. A small, but noticeable smile graced her lips and enchanted everyone who saw it, instantly lifting their spirits. The enchantment was contagious, and everyone could feel the spark of happiness and hope in the air, except for the person who started the enchantment.

_(She'd hold small conversations and ask about their days, even though she couldn't care less.)_

She'd walk through the town and hear a lot of people say hello, and ask about how she was and she'd simply smile back with a polite, "Hello." And charmingly say that she was feeling wonderful, and in turn ask them about themselves. A small conversation, taking two minutes tops, and then she'd be on her way. But before she left, she'd flash a big, bright, empty smile and wish them a good day. Because that's what everyone expects. She's Sakura and Sakura is supposed to be charming and polite. So that's what she gives them.

_(She'd laugh at his jokes, even if they're not funny.)_

Sakura would always make time to see her _best _friend, Naruto. Normally, she'd join him in whatever he was doing, which was usually pranking Shikamaru or Kiba. Sometimes, she'd give him advice on what he should say to Hinata, and try not to get _too _jealous whenever he talked about her. She'd laugh at his jokes, even when they're not funny. Because she's Sakura and that's what Naruto expects of her. He expects a bubbly, happy girl with a silk laugh and soft smile. So that's what she gives him.

_(She'd accept and blush at compliments, when they really just wanted to make her cry.)_

Sakura was a very pretty girl, having fair skin and no blemishes, bright emerald eyes, a small nose, and forever smiling lips. It came as no surprise that people noticed how beautiful she was. It seemed that everyday someone would tell her how lovely she'd looked. She'd blush and pretend to be flustered, and thank them before walking away brightly. Because she's Sakura and that's what they expect. She's supposed to be polite and pretty, so she acts polite and pretty. She'd feign happiness until she reached her apartment, carrying with her whatever she got while in town.

_(That's where she'd break down, sobbing uncontrollably on the floor.)_

She'd come in and lock _the door, _hoping she won't have to leave again. She'd set her items down on the island in the kitchen, and walk into her bedroom. She'd shut all the windows and turn the shades down. She'd check to see if she locked the door, which she always did. Then she'd stroll into her bedroom.

That's where the self loathing begins.

She'd sit on her bed, and think about her old _team_. She remember Sasuke and Kakashi and Naruto. She'd remember being a rookie and how fun it felt _before _he left. Those memories would bring a smile upon her thin lips.

_(Soon after, those thin lips would tremble.)_

Sasuke and Naruto were practically her family. They were her whole world. And when she lost on member, the other left with him. And then she was alone. She'd remember how alone she felt when Sasuke left. She'd remember the days where she stayed in bed, not wanting to see the sun. She remembered the days she spent worrying about him.

_"Is he okay?"  
"Where is he?"  
"Does he need help?"  
"Is he hurt?"  
"Does he miss us?"_

She'd ask herself these questions for months, never receiving an answer. She'd remember how awful it was _after _he left. She cried for days on end, wondering if she'd ever feel happy again. She'd reduced to tears by the next phase happens.

_(Trembling hands and shaky fingers hold a sharp object - a kunai? She can't tell, but she knows it hurts.)_

Sakura's sobbing hysterically and that's not the way it should be. But if things were the way they should be, Sasuke-kun would be home and Ino - Pig would talk to her again. Nothing is the way it should be. So she reaches under her bed, and feels around until a sharp object pricks her fingers. A small smile graces her lips, when he picks it up and takes it out.

Her hands are shaky and lips are trembling and she shouldn't be doing this, but she doesn't care. She's depressed and crying and not thinking clearly. She wants the pain to go away, even if it for a second. She just wants the hurting to stop.

So she slides the blade along her right wrist. Blood leaks out from the cut, and for a moment, she's happy. She forgets about Naruto and Kakashi-sensi and Ino-Pig and Sasuke-kun. She forgets the pain, the lying, the hiding. she just focus on the stinging coming from her wrist.

She wants to stop pretending, stop crying, stop cutting. But she can't do that until Sasuke comes back.

So she waits for him. Hoping that her prince charming will someday save her from her self-destruction.

_(But he's not here yet...)_


End file.
